PA Coalition for World Class Math

The Lighter Side of Math (Please Scroll Down)

You've got three cups of coffee and 14 sugar cubes. Without breaking any individual cubes in pieces, how do you split these cubes up so that you have an odd amount in each cup?

Give up?

1, 1, and 12

(But, Melissa, 12 isn't an odd number!)

Don't ya think it's kinda odd to put 12 sugar cubes in one cup of coffee?

Old Toon

A mathematician wandered home at 3 AM. Her husband became very upset, telling her, "You're late! You said you'd be home by 11:45!"

The mathematician replied, "I'm right on time. I said I'd be home by a quarter of twelve."

What is the integral of "one over cabin" with respect to "cabin"?

Answer: Natural log cabin + c = houseboat.

A newlywed husband is discouraged by his wife's obsession with mathematics. Afraid of being second fiddle to her profession, he finally confronts her: "Do you love math more than me?"
"Of course not, dear - I love you much more!"
Happy, although sceptical, he challenges her: "Well, then prove it!"
Pondering a bit, she responds: "Ok... Let epsilon be greater than zero..."

Useless

--Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?

--There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't.

--Lottery: a tax on people who are bad at math

--If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

The functions are sitting in a bar, chatting (how fast they go to zero at infinity etc.). Suddenly, one cries "Beware! Derivation is coming!" All immediately hide themselves under the tables, only the exponential sits calmly on the chair.

The derivation comes in, sees a function and says "Hey, you don't fear me?"
"No, I'am e to x", says the exponential self-confidently.
"Well" replies the derivation "but who says I differentiate along x?"

Man walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock of sheep. Tells the shepherd, “I will bet you $100 against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock.” The shepherd thinks it over; it’s a big flock so he takes the bet. “973,” says the man. The shepherd is astonished, because that is exactly right. Says “OK, I’m a man of my word, take an animal.” Man picks one up and begins to walk away.

“Wait,” cries the shepherd, “Let me have a chance to get even. Double or nothing that I can guess your exact occupation.” Man says sure. “You work for a government think tank,” says the shepherd. “Amazing!” responds the man, “You are exactly right! But tell me, how did you deduce that?”

“Well,” says the shepherd, “put down my dog and I will tell you.”

How they prove that all odd integers higher than 2 are prime?

Math Educator: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, and by induction - every odd integer higher than 2 is a prime.
Physicist: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 9 is an experimental error, 11 is a prime,...
Engineer: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 9 is a prime, 11 is a prime,...
Programmer: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 7 is a prime,...
Salesperson: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 9 -- we'll do for you the best we can,...
Computer Software Salesperson: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 will be prime in the next release,...
Biologist: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 9 -- results have not arrived yet,...
Advertiser: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 11 is a prime,...
Lawyer: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 9 -- there is not enough evidence to prove that it is not a prime,...
Accountant: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is prime, deducing 10% tax and 5% other obligations.
Statistician: Let's try several randomly chosen numbers: 17 is a prime, 23 is a prime, 11 is a prime...
Professor: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, and the rest are left as an exercise for the student.
Computational linguist: 3 is an odd prime, 5 is an odd prime, 7 is an odd prime, 9 is a very odd prime,...
Psychologist: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 9 is a prime but tries to suppress it,...

There are two groups of people in the world:

Those who can be categorized into one of two groups of people, and those who can't.

The Flood is over and the ark has landed. Noah lets all the animals out and says, "Go forth and multiply."

A few months later, Noah decides to take a stroll and see how the animals are doing. Everywhere he looks he finds baby animals. Everyone is doing fine except for one pair of little snakes. "What's the problem?" says Noah.
"Cut down some trees and let us live there", say the snakes.

Noah follows their advice. Several more weeks pass. Noah checks on the snakes again. Lots of little snakes, everybody is happy. Noah asks, "Want to tell me how the trees helped?"

"Certainly", say the snakes. "We're adders, so we need logs to multiply.

Little Pete is officially a character now

Why did the chicken cross the Möbius strip?

To get to the same side

$\sqrt{4b^2}$

2b or not 2b

that is the answer.

A mathematician went insane and believed that he was the differentiation operator. His friends had him placed in a mental hospital until he got better. All day he would go around frightening the other patients by staring at them and saying "I differentiate you!"

One day he met a new patient; and true to form he stared at him and said "I differentiate you!", but for once, his victim's expression didn't change. Surprised, the mathematician marshalled his energies, stared fiercely at the new patient and said loudly "I differentiate you!", but still the other man had no reaction. Finally, in frustration, the mathematician screamed out "I DIFFERENTIATE YOU!"
The new patient calmly looked up and said, "You can differentiate me all you like: I'm e to the x."

A biologist, a statistician, a mathematician and a computer scientist are on a photo-safari in africa. They drive out on the savannah in their jeep, stop and scout the horizon with their binoculars.

The biologist: "Look! There's a herd of zebras! And there, in the middle : A white zebra! It's fantastic! There are white zebras! We'll be famous!"

The statistician: "It's not significant. We only know there's one white zebra."

The mathematician: "Actually, we only know there exists a zebra, which is white on one side."

The computer scientist: "Oh, no! A special case!"

An Engineer, a Physicist, and a Mathematician are shown a pasture with a herd of sheep, and told to put them inside the smallest possible amount of fence. The Engineer is first. He herds the sheep into a circle and then puts the fence around them, declaring "A circle will use the least fence for a given area, so this is the best solution."

The Physicist is next. She creates a circular fence of infinite radius around the sheep, and then draws the fence tight around the herd, declaring "This will give the smallest circular fence around the herd."

The Mathematician is last. After giving the problem a little thought, he puts a small fence around himself and then declares, "Let the area where I am standing be defined as the outside."

To the optimist, the glass is half full.

To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.

To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

If I have seen farther than others, it is because I was standing on the shoulders of giants. -- Isaac Newton

In the sciences, we are now uniquely privileged to sit side by side with the giants on whose shoulders we stand.--Gerald Holton

If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders. -- Hal Abelson

Mathematicians stand on each others' shoulders. -- Gauss

Mathematicians stand on each others' shoulders while computer scientists stand on each others' toes. -- Richard Hamming

It has been said that physicists stand on one another's shoulders. If this is the case, then programmers stand on one another's toes, and software engineers dig each others' graves. -- Unknown

Teaching Math in 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?

Teaching Math in 1960: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?

Teaching Math in 1970: A logger exchanges a set "L" of lumber for a set "M" of money. The cardinality of set "M" is 100. Each element is worth one dollar. Make 100 dots representing the elements of the set "M." The set "C," the cost of production contains 20 fewer points than set "M." Represent the set "C" as subset of set "M" and answer the following question: What is the cardinality of the set "P" of profits?

Teaching Math in 1980: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

Teaching Math in 1990: By cutting down beautiful forest trees, an unenlightened logger makes $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the forest birds and squirrels "feel" as the logger cut down the trees? There are no wrong answers.

Teaching Math in 2002: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $120. How does Arthur Andersen determine that his profit margin is $60?

Teaching Math in 2010: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $120. The federal government bails out his firm. How much is his bonus?

What is the shortest mathematicians joke?

Let epsilon be smaller than zero.

Two mathematicians are in a restaurant, arguing about whether women can do mathematics. One is totally pessimistic, but the other disagrees.

Eventually the pessimist goes to the bathroom and while he's gone, the other brings over the How it Works waitress. He hands her $10 and says, "When my friend comes back, I'll call you to the table, and I'll ask you a question. Just answer 'log x' and there's another $10 in it for you."

The friend returns, and the guy says, "You know, I think women DO know more math than you think. I'll bet you $100 that the waitress can integrate 1/x." Of course the other guy accepts, the waitress is brought over, and she's asked, "What is the integral of 1/x?"

She answers, "log x," then pauses, and adds, "plus an arbitrary constant."

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FoxTrot Math is a new one credit-hour pass/fail course designed for freshmen and sophomores to learn more about teaching mathematics in middle and high school. There are no prerequisites for the course, except an interest in learning and teaching mathematics. The course draws on the humor of the popular comic strip to examine the mathematical and social contexts in which the scenes occur.

The AMS has a a mathematical humor article here.